For years, my mother has lamented that she does not hear often enough from her children and grandchildren. \u201cI call and leave messages at your office, but I never get anybody,\u201d she\u2019d say.
\nI usually had one response: \u201cMom, it\u2019s time you got a computer. If you sent us email, you would hear back from us immediately!\u201d She said she was \u201ctoo old to learn something new and complicated\u201d like a computer, but I kept assuring her that lots of people in their 70s, 80s and 90s were internet-adept.<\/p>\n
Then one day, she called to say she had just returned from a meeting of the condo association and that everyone in the building, including her, now had broadband. \u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d she asked. \u201cIt means it\u2019s time we bought you a computer,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
So I purchased a new, fast, inexpensive computer and she was suddenly typing again after a 50-year break from the keyboard. And it did bring us closer together, but not in the email-exchanging way I had envisioned. What mom needed more than anything was a tutor and I became one of several relatives who have spent time with her in front of cyberspace.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s been frustrated all these years when TV news or the paper referred to web sites for more information. So, in a few minutes, I had her clicking through on the New York Times, yahoo and other sites of interest. She most enjoys researching an ancestor who once served as a congressman and a colonel in the Civil War. <\/p>\n
She will call me a couple times a week, getting computer tips. Often, if I have meetings in Buckhead, I will stop in and help her when she is stumped. One day she called and said she couldn\u2019t get anything to download. I dropped by, looked at her attempt and noticed she only had two \u201cw\u2019s\u201d rather than the required three in the internet address. We had a good long laugh about that. <\/p>\n
Several times a week, her children and grandchildren might receive an email from her asking about family or giving advice. Frequently, an email will arrive on my screen, urging me to get a flu shot or go more frequently to church. One, entitled \u201cRenew,\u201d suggested I \u201ctake a minute to get back your dependence on God. He is such a comfort, and wants to direct you. I\u2019m afraid you have gotten in the same phase I am: too much world, and newspaper and TV. It clouds my mind!\u201d<\/p>\n
My mother turns 85 years old this month. She is a wonder of energy. All her offspring wish we had her zest for life and ability to focus on people most important to us. Since my dad died seven years ago, she has been more active than ever, driving to the beach, the mountains and all over town.<\/p>\n
Her definition of family is large, including nieces, distant relatives, neighbors and ex-in-laws. Several times in the past few years, she has been thoughtful enough to send a little money to my ex-wife in Charlotte \u201cjust to help with back-to-school.\u201d Recently, I drove Mom up for my daughter\u2019s graduation. Mom held court at dinner the night before and at the ice cream store after the ceremony. She asked questions of my children\u2019s step-dad and his kids and helped ease some awkwardness. Afterwards, my ex mentioned several times \u201chow great it was to see your mother.\u201d <\/p>\n
As my children reach college-age, I\u2019ve begun to think how much I look forward to being a grandfather. I never knew any of my grandfathers; they died years before I was born. But I did know Mom\u2019s mom and her grandmother, who lived to be a month or two short of her 100th birthday. I believe Mom will live beyond the century mark and will be there to serve as my role model. I am humbled by her awesome example. Happy birthday, Mom. I love you.<\/p>\n\n\n